I had coffee with a young woman who asked for some time and guidance last week. She is newly married, thriving at work and beginning to think about having children while continuing to build her career. She had one question that made me stop in my tracks and almost laugh out loud. “How do you balance everything and stay sane,” she asked.
Part of me was thrilled that was her perception of me. Most days, I feel like I am flirting with disaster. Trying as hard as I do to keep all the balls in the air is not easy – nor graceful. However, I take full accountability for the life I have chosen. I love my work, I love my family. I don’t have a ton of free time left over, so I try to plan carefully and add in other important things into those time slots remaining. I’ve got one life and I want to max it out. Even if that means embracing that sometimes things get a bit messy.
I have written multiple articles about goals, priorities, focus and discipline. I've even written about the belief that you can in fact have it all… just not always at the same time. Today, however, I'm taking a bit of a different approach. Today, I'm going to attempt to stop you in your tracks and get you to take on that one thing you know you would love to be in your life but convince yourself you have no time or energy to pursue. In other words, do you want to keep adding to your bucket list and be a “I wish I could…” kind of person? Or would you rather be the “I did it!” person? Read on if you prefer the latter.
- How realistic are your dreams? If “win a Grammy Award for Best New Artist,” was on my bucket list, it’s a pretty safe bet that I’m not going to be able to cross that off. I have no professional singing experience, and I don’t have the time, energy or skill to even get close to making this a reality. However, by changing my item to “take singing lessons and slay at karaoke with friends,” I could realistically pull that off. I would need to commit to getting some training, and to perfecting a song well enough that I’d be excited to get up on stage and belt it out. While that goal might not come with the glitz and glamour of winning a Grammy, it still stretches me out of my comfort zone AND accomplishes the desire to sing in front of people cheering me on.
- Pick one. I know many people with bucket lists that have upwards of 20+ items on them. When I inquire, “what have you checked off your list?” I’m often surprised by the number of people who have accomplished none of it. Isn’t it unsatisfying to keep adding to a list of things you’d love to do, but just stand by and never do any of it? Stop being a supporting character in the movie of your life, and take one step forward. Pick one thing. Commit to doing it. Picture yourself actually doing it. Then keep reading.
- Plan it out. Life doesn’t always go according to plan, but it sure helps if you have a starting place. Is your thing taking a dream trip to the Serengeti to spot animals? Start planning. Do your research. Determine cost, time frame, get a passport and everything else you need to know to get yourself organized. Once you have your information, start working backwards to break it into manageable chunks. Ask yourself how long will it take you to save up for the trip? Determine the cost, and commit to saving X amount every week to get you there. When is a good time to take two weeks off from work? Book it in your calendar, and speak to your boss about it. The more you can outline your plans, take definitive actions to accomplish it, and gain the support of others in helping you achieve, the more you are investing in your own successful outcome.
- Commit. Make the conscious decision to not be person who says, “I wish…” but rather one who says, “I did.” Fantasies about things that are realistically never going to happen can be fun sometimes. For example, I’m pretty sure I’m never going to be attending a screening of a film at Sundance that I wrote a script for. However, if writing a script is on my bucket list, I’m going to work hard to ensure I turn that dream into a reality. And I can always go to Sundance and be inspired by the other writers and their work. The point is, once I’ve committed, the rest is just execution.
- Just Do It. You’ve identified, planned and committed. Now what? Simple. Measure your progress. Celebrate every small win getting you closer to your accomplishment. Dust yourself off when you have a set back and get back at it. In other words, your mom was right. You can do (and be) anything you set your mind to. Just do it.
What dream do you truly want to accomplish? Over your coffee this morning, pause and ask yourself why it’s a dream, and not something you are working towards as a reality. If you are chasing your dreams, you probably aren’t running fast enough.
Christina Luconi is Chief People Officer for Rapid7. Follow her on Twitter: @peopleinnovator.